The Trouble with Sean
by TopHat
Summary: Scarlett plans a nice, relaxing visit with her brother Sean but all she finds is trouble. After all the trouble Scarlett has been through now it's pay back time!
1. Look Out!

Disclaimer: I do not own GI Joe.

The Trouble with Sean

Chapter 1: Watch out!

Author's Note: This little fic is just for laughs and is not connected to the Birthday Gift story.

Scarlett glanced at the Braves game on the hotel television. They were losing by a landslide. "Bummer," she muttered, "Oh, well, at least Sean will probably be free later." It wasn't often that she found herself in the same city as her youngest brother. He traveled to report on sports events around the US, sometimes around the globe, and while he always let her know where he would be this was only the third time their schedules had actually coincided. She flipped the game off and walked next door to join the after dinner poker game Wild Bill had set up.

"Hey guys."

"You check the score?" Beach Head asked as he passed her a can of coke.

"We're losing. A lot."

Beach Head shook his head, "Figures."

She shrugged, "At least Sean won't be busy later."

Bill started dealing the cards, "You still meetin' up with your brother?"

"Yep. Provided no one minds, I'll take the car, drive over to see him and drive back later."

"You okay going alone?" Stalker asked.

She shot him a withering stare, "Do you really need to ask that?"

"Just asking in case you need a DD or something?"

"I'm not drinking. We're just going to hang out for a while. I'll be back a few hours after I leave."

They played a couple of rounds, with Scarlett making a small profit but not winning, before her phone rang, "Hey, so badly did we lose?"

Sean grumbled from the other end, "Pretty bad. It's a two game series so we'll have a chance to redeem ourselves tomorrow night. You still coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in just under an hour. Rodney's Bar & Grill, right?"

"That's the place. Drive safe, sis."

"Always."

Sean laughed as he hung up the phone.

"Keys?" she asked, holding out her hand.

Beach Head mumbled something that sounded like "take your gun with you" as he handed over the keys. It could have easily been "fill the gas tank before you bring it back".

She grabbed the keys and headed out.

Just as she was leaving, Roadblock called out, "Have a good time."

She found her brother outside the sports bar with his arms around a good looking blonde. "Why do they always have to be blonde?" she asked, raising her eyes heavenward.

"I take it this means you and Ashlynn are off again?"

Sean jerked back, "Huh? Shana? When'd you get here?"

"Just now. Are you going to introduce me?"

He rubbed the back of his head with his hand, "It's really not what it looks like."

The blonde sniffled a little, "He's right, Sean was just being nice. My big idiot of a boyfriend is being a Neanderthal. Sean was just offering a shoulder to cry on. I'm Mitzy by the way," she said, holding out her hand.

Scarlett warily took it and returned the woman's watery smile, "Shana."

"You must be Sean's sister. He's been so excited that you're joining us tonight. Are you really in the Army?"

"Yes, I'm really am."

"Wow. That must take a lot of strength."

"It does." More mental than physical. But she didn't add that. She didn't get to see Sean often and she didn't want to start the evening off on the wrong foot by accusing one of his 'friends' of being a bimbo.

"Well, I'm just going to make a stop by the ladies room. It's nice to meet you, Shana."

"Thanks," She waited until Mitzy was out of earshot, "Really Sean, what is it with you and blondes? Is Ashlynn going to need to bleach her hair to hold your attention?

"I told you the truth. Nothing is going on between us-I really was just offering her a friendly shoulder. Surely one of your buddies has offered the same to you."

Shana laughed out loud at the mental image of Beach Head gingerly patting her on the shoulder when she cried over breaking a nail. It would never happen, "Fine. I'll take your word for it. Why don't we just start over?"

"Deal," Sean grinned. "Hey, little sister, good to see you!" he pulled her into a bear hug that lifted her off the ground.

She laughed, hugging him back, "It's good to see you to. You need a shave!"

"I'm thinking about doing the beard thing for a while."

"You mean while Ash is out of town."

He grinned infectiously, "She'll be gone for a month. It's a small rebellion."

Shana laughed, "I think you owe me a beer."

Sean held open the door and guided her inside, "I think you're the one who owes me a beer."

"No way."

"Oh yes way. I bought the last time you drove out to meet me."

"And I bought the last time we were together, when you drove to meet me. It's your turn."

They squabbled good naturedly and settled down at one of the tables with Sean's colleagues. She knew most of them but the few she didn't know made the usual jokes and whistled when she arrived at the table.

"Can it asshole, this is my baby sister."

"She's a babe all right!"

Shana smiled wickedly, "And this babe has more black belts in more forms of martial arts than you could name when you're stone cold sober."

That got a few laughs and they hung out for a while before starting a game of pool with Mitzy and a handful of reporters. Mitzy, it seemed, was Jerry's significant other. Jerry was another sports reporter but one who gave the breed a bad name. It was no wonder Mitzy had decided Sean made better company than her boyfriend, presently sitting at the bar drinking his way through to morning.

"Hey Sean!" the idiot called, ambling up to the pool table.

Sean rolled his eyes, "Jerry, you run out of beer already?"

"Very funny, prick! You know for such an ugly mutt you sure have a hottie for a sister."

Shana shook her head, silently reminded her brother she could and would take care of Jerry should the need arise.

They ignored his rude comments and kept playing. "Hey sugar, you got to be real disappointed if you drove out here just to see that ass wipe. I can make it up to you though, what do ya say you and me head back to my room and get to know each other?" he squeezed her ass just to make sure she understood what he was offering.

"If you want to keep that hand Jerry, you'd better move it."

"Ohh, sass, I like it! You want me to move my hand, huh? How about here?" He slid his hand down her leg but before he could get it where he wanted he found his arm twisted painfully behind his back.

"I'm not interested Jerry. Why don't you get the bartender to call you a cab?"

"Bitch! Let go of my arm!"

"Sure, so long as you play nice from now on," she released his arm and sent him flying into a nearby table.

Mitzy joined everyone in laughing at how easily Shana had taken care of Jerry, "Maybe you can show me a few of those moves."

"Sure."

Jerry got up and stalked towards Mitzy, "You think you can get it on with this sucker behind my back and then laugh at me? You bitch, I'm through with you!" He reached out his hand to slap Mitzy but Sean slammed down his pool cube and caught his hand, "I think my sister asked you to leave once already. I'll see that Mitzy makes it back to the hotel."

Jerry's friends stepped in and helped him out. Another of their friends offered to take Mitzy back on to the hotel and then the airport, leaving Sean and Shana to finish their game.

They walked out, his arm slung companionably over her shoulder, "Sorry it was such a bummer of a visit."

She shrugged, "No biggie. I got to see you in person for once. It was nice."

His phone rang. "Hey, hang on a sec," he said reaching for the phone.

"I'll wait by my car."

"Ok. Hello?"

"Sean, Jerry's headed back to the bar, and he's making noise about getting even."

"He's not driving is he?"

"Yeah, he slipped by us that's why I'm calling."

"Thanks for tip. We're on our way out anyway."

The sound of wheels screeching in the parking lot captured his attention. "Shit! Shana!"

She stopped in the middle of the lot and turned back, "What?"

He didn't think, he just ran, knocking her down just as Jerry's car screeched by. He caught his breath and sat up, "Shana? Shana, wake up, sis! Are you okay?"

Her eyes fluttered for a moment before closing.

"Somebody call 911!"

Patrons scrambled out of the bar.

"Shana…Shana, can you hear me?" He leaned over her slapping her face lightly.

"Stop it, you asshole!"

He sat her up and hugged her fiercely, "I thought you'd bought it there for a sec!"

"Let go! You're hurting me!"

He immediately let go and she thumped back on the pavement.

"Oww! Shit, shit, shit!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"You broke my arm! What the hell was wrong with 'look out'?"

"I didn't have time to yell, look out!"

"Oh, but you had time to run across the parking lot and break my arm!"

After the paramedics arrived, it was determined she not only had a broken bone, but a mild concussion as well. She was loaded into the ambulance while finding new and inventive ways to curse her brother and any future offspring he may have been inclined to produce in the future. It helped to take her mind off the pain.


	2. All Hell Breaks Loose

Chapter 2: All Hell Breaks Loose

He rode with her in the back of the ambulance in an attempt to calm her down. After one particularly inventive phrase one of the paramedics turned red. "Um, she's in the Army. And she was always good in lit class."

She yelled again when the nurses helped transfer her to a hospital bed, "It's okay, sweetie, you're going to be just fine."

"It's all his fault! He broke my damn arm! And don't you dare call me 'sweetie!' I am not your 'sweetie!'"

The nurses did their jobs as quickly as possible before moving out of Shana's firing range. As a matter of fact, everyone moved about quickly, especially the doctor after she used her good hand to grab a fistful of his coat demanding that she be let out and swearing the medic from her unit could set it properly without her having to be in the hospital.

"I hate hospitals!"

The doctor had to force her fingers off his coat. "Yes, well, we'll get that elbow of yours fixed up as soon as possible and send you on your way. I'll get the nurses to give you more pain medication while you wait."

Shana's eyes got big, "Elbow? What do you mean elbow? And what do you mean 'wait'?"

The doctor had the good sense to back up before answering, "The x-rays taken when you came in show not a broken arm but a broken elbow. We'll have to perform surgery to…"

Shana sat up, "Surgery? No way, uh-huh, I'm getting out of here!"

It took the doctor and Sean to hold her down while the nurse sedated her. "She should rest peacefully for the next little while. I promise we'll get her into surgery and out of the hospital as soon as possible."

Sean looked taken aback, "I had no idea she was so phobic about hospitals! She works for the army-she's always getting banged up! It's not like she's never broken a bone before!"

The doctor shook his head, "No matter, like I said, we'll get her in and out of surgery as soon as possible. She was probably just in a lot of pain. Broken elbows are rather painful. If you'll excuse me…" the doctor backed out of the room as fast as his feet could carry him.

Sean looked at his sister, now sleeping, and shook his head, "What the hell happened? And really, I'm sure your medic is great and all but I don't think he'd field dress a broken elbow in a hotel room just to save you the irritation of dealing with a hospital. I mean, really, did you have to try and make a run for it?"

A cute blonde nurse stepped in to check on Sean while Shana was in surgery, "How you holding up?"

"Who me? I'm ok. Sorry about my sister…I didn't know she was still so freaked about hospitals."

"Did she have a bad experience?"

"Well, our mom was real sick when we were kids so with that and all of us being active in sports we spent a fair amount of time in and out of hospitals. She's the youngest but was always trailing after the three of us, Frank, Brian, and me. Shana's the baby of the family. She wouldn't be left behind on any adventure-no matter what. She had to be just like us so she pushed herself, especially in Tae Kwon Do. She got banged up a good bit." Sean grinned, "We didn't exactly go easy on her, ya know? But it's probably mom that did it. We all took it different ways-her being in and out of the hospital so much. Frank got super overprotective, Brian became a surgeon, I tend to stay the heck away from even the doctor, and Shana…well she flips out. And she's normally a pretty cool customer."

The nurse smiled nicely, "Well, I hope she feels better real soon."

"Thanks."

Shana woke up feeling very disoriented and not just a little irritated at the people telling her to wake up.

"Hey, Shana, rise and shine sweetheart! They're letting you out!"

"Out of where? Where I am? What are you doing here?"

"Don't worry; I'll explain everything to you on the ride back to the hotel."

"'K..sleep now…"

"No, no, you scared the nurses so badly they don't want to risk helping you out to the car. So you've got to walk. As soon as we get to the car I'll give you a pain pill."

"Pain pill?"

Sean shook his head, "Never mind, I'll get a wheel chair."

Thankfully a few of his friends had come by to check on Shana and had brought his rental car. They would have brought hers but they couldn't find the keys in the parking lot and had guessed she had them on her. At least he could get her back to her hotel. It would be close to dawn by the time he got her back; her friends would probably be worried. They'd probably called but he'd broken her phone when he'd tackled her.

Halfway to the hotel she started singing. "That pain pill I gave you should have knocked you out by now, what gives?"

"I don't like pills!" she sang at the top of her lungs.

Sean risked a glance in her direction and winced. Man was she ever out of it!

"Come on, Sean, sing, you know the words! On top of Old Smokey…"

Sean hunched his shoulders and turned on the radio. His sister didn't have the best voice and kiddie songs really didn't make it any better. Especially when they were sung off-key. She started moving her good arm in time to the music, as if she were conducting an invisible orchestra.

"Man, I should have gotten them to give me some! I don't know what the hell it is baby sister, but you're flying high! Looks like you're having a good time, too. That's good. Maybe you won't kill me when you snap out of it."

When the pulled into the hotel parking lot he sighed, "Ten more minutes and you can be back in bed, sleeping it off."

She gave him hell from the instant he opened the car door.

"Okay, out we go," he said, unbuckling her seat belt and expecting her to climb out. She didn't. She did however, start singing again. This time it was a bawdy Irish pub song. "Geez, you're not even supposed to know those words! Dad would skin us alive if he found out you know those words. He'd kill us where we stood if it turns out you know what you're singing."

She just sang louder.

"Okay, okay, calm down. Let's get you out of the car." He moved her legs out and she slumped down in the seat. Sean leaned into the car to lift her up and she brought her knee up, narrowly missing him.

"That's enough! Snap out of it!" He ran his hands over his face and then braced his arms on the hood of the car. "You had better not be messing with me Shana! If you are there will be hell to pay later! I promise you that!"

He was grateful no one was in the parking lot during the ordeal. And an ordeal it was. It took him ten minutes to get her out of the car and when he did, she slid down next to the tire. She was worse than a limp noodle.

He finally managed to haul her good arm over his shoulders. He anchored her good hand with one of his and wrapped his other arm around her waist to keep her upright as they lurched through the hotel lobby toward the elevators. The night clerk shot him a 'you lucky dog' look. "Hey, she's my sister! Don't look me like that! I didn't mean it that way! Where are we, Arkansas? She's just drunk that's all. Seriously, I'm just helping her up to her room and then I'm gone. Watch and see! Ten more minutes, tops!"

He let her slump down to the elevator floor while he took a rest. "I don't know what's worse, you bitching me out or you doing an impression of spring break freshman year? I am so dumping your ass in your room and leaving your friends to deal with this mess! You may be my favorite sibling but there are limits to what I'll do for you!"

The elevator beeped and Sean once again attempted to get her upright. She wasn't having any of it. She wasn't even capable of standing anymore so he gingerly scooped her up in his arms, "Geez, Shana…I know its all muscle but you weigh a freaking ton!"

She responded by humming Danny Boy. Sean rolled his eyes and dug in her pocket for the room key. "206. At least it's close to the elevator." He hefted her up in his arms again and she crinkled her brow in pain. "Sorry, sis but this would go a lot easier if you were up to walking."

"Oh Danny Boy…the pipes are calling…"

He let her down in a slump by her room door and rolled his eyes. If he wasn't such a good brother he'd take her picture for future blackmail opportunities. She really did look like a mess. Her coat was hanging off one arm; her head was propped drunkenly against the door with her hair covering her face. He really didn't know what the nurses had done with her ponytail band.

Her singing hit a really off key note and he decided he really wasn't such a good brother after all. He fished his phone out of his pocket. One picture wouldn't hurt anything. And he totally deserved the payback this photo would buy him later.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sean jerked back as a Mr. T impersonator stepped out from the room across the hall. The guy was quickly joined by another guy that looked like he could crack heads together without any problem.

"Oh, uh…she just had a little too much to drink is all…there's no problem."

Shana piped up, "Hey, I thought you said you were taking me to bed! This isn't bed!" The fact that her words were slurred didn't help his cause any at all.

The door next to Shana's opened and yet another couple of guys stepped out into the hallway. "Oh, crap!" he swore, looking down at his sister, "You get me in the worst trouble! You pick now of all times to regain consciousness and you just make matters worse!"

Mr. T scowled, "I repeat…what the hell do you think you're doing with her?"

Sean very slowly held his hands out to the side, "You must be Shana's army buddies…"

"Yeah…they're gonna kick your ass!" she sang drunkenly.

Sean felt the color drain out of his face. They looked like they could kick his ass with one hand tied behind their backs and that was saying something. He didn't have all the belts she did but he could hold his own in a fight.

"Shana, honey, you need to tell these nice men I'm your brother before they kill me."

She started singing Danny Boy again. "Oh come on, Shana! You don't even like Danny Boy!" He bent down and gently slapped her face, "Wake up now...come on…" he felt himself being lifted up the collar of his jacket…his cell phone falling in her lap.

"Shana…come on …wake up dam it! Snap out of it! They're seriously gonna kill me! There are too many of them to take on by myself! Tell them I'm your brother!"

She sighed, "...don't want to…all your fault you know...should've kept in your pants like I told you…serve you right they kick your ass…"

Mr. T shook him as one of the other guys bent down to check on Shana. "I repeat, man, what did you do to her?"

He rushed out a garbled version of the bar fight and her broken elbow.

"Hey girl, look at me…"

"Hey Stalker…" She giggled… "…there are two of you…"

"Is that crazy ass son of a bitch related to you…"

"If I say yes will still kick his ass?"

"Sure girl, just say the word…"

"Want to go back to sleep…"

"Stay with me…did he hurt you?"

"Damn straight…all his fault!"

"How did he hurt you?"

"Stupid ass tackled me…I could have moved out of the way just fine…could have just said look out for the car ya know?"

"He sure could have…look at me again…" Stalker checked her eyes and inspected the cast before looking at the prescription that had fallen out of the red headed dude's pocket…he did actually look a lot like her so he assumed he was telling the truth.

Stalker used the guy's cell phone to call the hospital to check out the story. "His story jives, you can let him down."

Sean was unceremoniously dropped head first on the hall floor. "Great…I'll just be going now…"

"Ah don't think so," said a big dude with a thick southern accent.

Sean looked at the supposed leader of the group and wondered if he were a Ranger or a Marine. The guy might be dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt but he looked like he could kick ass and take names and the other guys turned to him for direction so he must be the leader. And if he were the leader that probably meant he was the best ass kicker among them.

"Okay…I'll just help guys get her in the room…"

"And you'll stick around to help, right?" the leader said.

"I wasn't going anywhere, seriously…I mean she can be a pain in the ass sometimes but she's the only sister I've got…okay…shutting up now," he glanced from face to face and figured he was about to win a Mr. Unpopularity award. He was stuck nursing his baby sister. That meant he'd still be here when she woke up in the morning. Not a good thing.


	3. What Happened?

Disclaimer: I do not own GI Joe.

Thanks to the people who have reviewed! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 3: What happened?

She woke up with a killer hangover. Had she really had that much to drink? And why was the pain in her arm as opposed to her head? She rolled over onto her side and woke up screaming in agony. She kept rolling, unable to put her hand out to stop her momentum, and crashed onto the floor.

"Geez, sis, you all right?"

Sean helped her sit up and braced himself as she glared at him. Through gritted teeth she asked, "What happened?"

"Uh, well, that's kind of a long story but the gist of it is that you broke your elbow or your arm or maybe both and you're in a cast for the next few weeks. Your medic said you can get the color changed when you get back to base. Oh, and you've got pain pills. Be right back."

"It's pink!"

Sean winced as he handed her a pill and a water bottle, "Here, this should take the edge off."

She swallowed the pill and sat down on the bed carefully. "Explain."

He rubbed the back of his head, "Well we were at this bar…"

"Yeah, I remember that."

"And one of the guys was being an asshole and we basically told him he was full of shit and after you busted his balls he left. Only he came back and tried to run us over with a rental car."

"And how did I end up with a broken elbow?"

"I tackled you to the ground so the car wouldn't run you over. I did save your life you know."

"You tackled me to the ground, the asphalt, the concrete?" Every word she said got louder and louder.

Sean shot a nervous glance toward the connecting room door, "Hey, like I said it was that or let you get run over."

"Don't you get huffy with me, why didn't you yell, 'get out of the way'?"

"I didn't think about that."

"You didn't think at all!"

He scrambled out of the chair he'd been sitting in and made a bee line for the door, "Now hang on, Shana, it's not my fault the dude tried to run us over." He held his hands in front of him as a sign of peace.

"I have a pink cast! You can't even tell me which bone is broken! What, the ER was nurse cute or something?"

His face flushed red and her eyes widened, "That's it! You were busy flirting with the ER nurse while the doctor was putting on my cast! It is your fault my cast is pink! Do you know the hell I'm going to get over having a pink cast? I was scheduled for a mission in less than a week! My CO is going to have kittens, he's going to have fucking kittens and all you can do is flirt with the nurse and repeat 'it's not my fault'!"

He reached behind him and opened the door, backing out into the hallway. "Now, Shana, calm down, I told you I was trying to save your life."

"Calm down, calm down? I'm going to murder you Sean O'Hara. I'm going to absolutely murder you! I can't believe this!"

Sean looked behind him and noticed he'd been backing up closer and closer to the balcony that looked over the interior courtyard of the hotel. Seven floors up. Too high to jump, bad news if she actually succeeded in pushing him over. The pool was on the other side of the courtyard so that wouldn't help. Nope, nothing between the railing and the floor except space. And a lot of curious onlookers, including her Army buddies.

"You're making a scene, Shana. You really should calm down. Take a few deep breaths, think happy thoughts…"

"Think happy thoughts? What am I Tinkerbelle?"

"Well I'm sure as hell not Peter Pan!"

She caught his backwards glance and grinned evilly at him, "You know that's a really good idea. I should push you over just so you know how it feels."

"You can't, your arm is busted."

"Do you think I can't throw you over the railing with one good hand?"

"No, and Ashlynn isn't here to help you like she was before."

"I'm not a freshman in college either and I've got four guys that would be more than willing to help me."

"She's right, we'd be happy to throw you over. But before you do, you might want to think about the paperwork."

"I don't care about paperwork Wayne."

"Nope, but Sgt. Hauser will."

She settled for giving Sean the evil eye and turning back towards the room. "Maybe you can give me some straight answers. And no flack about the cast."

"I wasn't planning on giving you any."

The guys followed her in the room while Stalker rechecked the hospital's handiwork. "So, is it a broken elbow or a broken arm?"

"By the way the hospital put on the cast I'm going with elbow."

"Is that worse than a broken arm?"

"You'll have to work to get range of mobility back. Doc can fill you in on all that when we get back to base."

Scarlett rolled her eyes, "Has anyone told Duke?"

Suddenly every man in the room had something else to do, "Guys, seriously? I'm scheduled to leave two days after we get back. There's every possibility the mission will get bumped up and I, obviously, won't be going. Duke is going to have to find a replacement."

Beach Head finally broke the silence, "We figured since we'd be back before the end of the day you'd tell him yourself."

"Come on, four tough guys like you can't work up the nerve to tell Duke one of his soldiers was injured on an op?"

The withering look she shot them made them all squirm. Beach Head finally spoke up, "Like I said, we'll be back before the end of the day. Just let me know when you're ready and we'll head out."

"Fine." She thought of muttering something like chicken shits under her breath but changed her mind. Not a single one of them had said anything about her pink cast.

"Just one more thing…"

"What?"

"You might want to lay off the pain pills."

She heard Wild Bill snickering in the hallway, "Why? What happened?"

"Let's just say you ain't gonna make it on American Idol with that voice." Beach Head quickly closed the door before she could say anything else. Discretion was the better part of valor, especially with feisty red heads.

That left Scarlett contemplating how she was going to change clothes. No way was she showing up on base with a torn shirt and tangled, loose hair. She wondered if she could put her hair up one handed.

Beach Head and Wild Bill met Sean in the hallway coming off the elevator. He stopped in his tracks. "Hi, guys, how's it going?"

Beach Head gave him the silent treatment while Wild Bill tipped his hat up and stared at him from over his glasses. "What's in the bag, partner?"

"Uh, snickers bar, Famous Amos cookies, a pack of recess pieces, a pack of skittles, chocolate chip waffles from downstairs, café mocha with marshmallows, you want a complete run down?"

"Geez, what are you trying to do, kill her with sugar?"

Sean scowled, "Hey, man, I didn't try to kill her at all! I saved her life! And all I get for it is grief!"

"Seriously, what's with sugar rush?"

"Shana has a sweet tooth."

Wild Bill looked at Beach Head with an amused look on his face. He scowled back, "You got something say, cowboy?"

"Nope, just thinkin' as how you two have that in common."

"Did you ever think you might make friends more easily if you didn't scowl at everyone all the time? I mean what's with that?"

Scarlett called out from her room door, "You know he's killed people for less. Rangers really aren't people you want to mess with Sean."

"Do you ever hang with normal people? Or are all your friends capable of twisting a guy into a human pretzel?"

She thought about for a moment, "A few of them may pass for normal. But I promise they wouldn't break my elbow in a misguided attempt to save my life."

Sean glared at her, "You know, just for that I'm gonna take back my apology."

"You haven't actually apologized yet." They stared at each other for a long moment, "Oh, fine, fork over the goodies and we'll let bygones be bygones."

He opened the bags of candy while she worked her way through her waffle and coffee. "The doctor said you'd be just fine. And I'm sure the cast can get changed out when you get back to base."

"It had better. So exactly what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"How, exactly did I wind up with a broken elbow and an arm in a pink cast?"

"Well you remember busting Jerry's balls?"

"Yeah and I remember you tackling me to the pavement."

"So after an ambulance ride in which you educated the poor paramedics on what foul language really does sound like, you got to the hospital, slugged the nurse, tried to slug the doctor after he told you you'd need surgery, and then you made a run for it."

Her face turned red, "Did I really hit the doctor?"

"And a few nurses. They sedated you, prepped you for surgery and wheeled you into recovery with your arm in a pink cast."

"And then...?"

"And by then Andy had brought my car to the hospital so I loaded you up and listened to you sing kiddy songs and bawdy Irish pub songs all the way to the hotel. When we got here you were doing a really good impression of spring break Freshman year so you woke up your friends and they tried to beat my ass."

"Why?"

He tugged on his collar, "I think they were uh, afraid that I was uh, you know, trying to take advantage of you."

She threw her head back and laughed, "That's hilarious! I must have been pretty out of it."

He laughed, "Yeah, those pain pills had you flying higher than a kite. I'd go sparingly if I were you."

"I'll keep that in mind."

They were quiet for a few minutes, "Listen Shana, I'm really sorry about your arm."

She sighed, "It'll be ok. I've had worse. I'm just sorry our visit turned out the way it did. Hopefully the next time it won't be so eventful."

"Amen to that! So before I go, is there anything you need help with?"

"Um…yeah…I'll settle for clean clothes and some help with my hair."


	4. You're Gonna Get It!

**Disclaimer: I do not own GI JOE. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. I've had a blast writing this and I hope you've had a few laughs reading it!**

**Chapter 4: You're Gonna Get It**

By the end of the day they'd made it back to base. Beach Head had the dubious honor of helping her climb out of the jeep while Stalker, Wild Bill, and Roadblock immediately made excuses and split.

She staggered a bit under the influence of a recently downed pain pill, "Hi, Duke."

Beach Head let go at the sound of his commanding officer's name. She stumbled and landed against Duke.

"Oww…you're really hard you know that?"

Duke pushed her hair out of her face, her usually neat ponytail looking a bit ragged, "Scarlett? What the hell happened?"

"It's all Sean's fault."

"Sean? As in your brother, Sean?"

"Uh huh…don't make fun of my cast, ok."

"I won't," he held onto her shoulders as he stepped back to get a good look at her. He took in the dopey look on her face, her disheveled appearance and her cast. He shot an angry look at Beach Head, "We'll talk later." He wrapped Scarlett's good arm over his shoulder and headed towards the infirmary. He would have liked to have picked her up but he figured if he did, she'd give him hell for it later.

He had Doc check her up one side and down the other before replacing the pink cast with a basic white number. Scarlett slept through a good bit of the ordeal. Doc's eyebrows had hit the ceiling when he checked the name of the prescription pain pills, "Well no wonder she's so out of it. She must have seriously given the doctor hell."

"What do you mean?"

Doc held the bottle out to Duke, "I don't usually prescribe this particular pain pill unless one of you has undergone major surgery. Something as minor as a broken bone doesn't generally rate a pain killer of this potency. Besides that, they gave her enough to knock out a small elephant. I'll see how she's doing in the morning but unless something unusual has happened with the bone, I plan on changing her prescription. You can take her on back to her quarters. I'm sure sleeping in her own bed will help, along with a set of clean clothes."

Duke murmured his agreement and agreed to a wheel chair to help him get her back to her quarters. Lady Jaye opened the door and yelped, "What the hell happened?"

"I don't exactly know but I'm going to find out as soon as we get her settled. The short version is she has a broken elbow and the idiot doctor who fixed it gave her enough pain pills to put Road Block under."

"Will she be all right?"

"Doc says she'll be fine. He said she was ok to come back to quarters."

"I think she needs some clean clothes. We'll have to leave the bath for when she wakes up."

"Uh…do you need help?"

Lady Jaye smirked, "As much as I'm sure you'd both enjoy that I think I can handle it. You look like you're ready to bust some balls so go to it. Let me know what you find out."

"Will do. I'll be back later."

Lady Jaye smirked again, "I'm sure you will be."

Beach Head was waiting for him in his office, "I figured you'd want to talk to me."

"What the hell happened?"

"She went to have dinner with her brother. She was late getting back and not answering her phone so we waited up. He brought her back higher than a kite on pain pills and sporting a pink cast. Stalker checked her out and called the hospital. We didn't rough the guy up too much."

"And…" Beach Head could see the blood vessel in Duke's forehead ticking. Damn those pansies for leaving him to deal with this mess by himself.

"And Stalker and her brother stayed with her through the night. She woke up feeling hung over, took it out on her brother, they made up over sugared coffee and junk food, and we came back here."

"What I want to know is how the hell this happened in the first place?"

"Call her brother. According to her, it's all his fault anyways."

"I think I will. Oh, and Beach, next time you all leave here undamaged I would appreciate it if you all came back in the same condition."

Beach Head snorted, "Sounds good to me."

Beach Head left and Duke picked up the phone. It rolled over to voice mail, "I know your there you little shit. Pick up the damn phone before I come after you." He slammed the phone down and sure enough not two minutes later it started ringing.

"Hey man, listen; it's not really my fault. It was an accident!"

"I want to know what the hell happened, from the beginning!"

"From the beginning? Listen, she'll be fine. It's just a broken bone. She's had plenty of them before."

"None of which she has broken in your presence since she started dating me."

"Shit man, like I said it was just an accident."

"Sean, don't make me come after you."

Sean's eyes widened, would the man really leave his post to come beat his ass? He thought about it for a second. The guy was over the moon for Shana so yeah, it was reasonable to assume he really would come after him and beat his ass. "Okay, so Jerry was being an ass, he made a pass at her, she busted his balls, some of his friends took him back to the hotel but he got loose and tried to run us over with a car. I tackled her so she wouldn't get run over. It was either tackle her or let her get hit by the car."

"Some ass wipe was hitting on her?"

"Yeah, but remember I said she took care of it. The guy was drunk, all she had to do was push him and down he went. He's just a sore loser."

"He tried to run Shana over with a car?"

Sean sighed, "Yeah, but I saved her life."

"And broke her elbow! That's serious, Sean!"

"Better than being squashed by a car!"

Duke grit his teeth, "Then what?"

"Then the paramedics came, took her to the hospital and the doctor fixed her elbow."

"Why did her put her in a pink cast and why did he prescribe pain pills that would put down an elephant?"

"Uh, they were out of white."

"Hospitals are never out of white casting material."

"What can I say, I guess white is a popular color this season."

"Sean, don't lie to me."

"She's still got this thing about hospitals apparently. So she decked the doctor and tried to make a run for it. The nurses had to sedate her. The doc was probably worried she'd start another fight when she woke up."

"Another fight?"

"Well you know how she gets, there's only so much a guy can do to calm her down."

"And I don't suppose the hottie nurse had anything to do with your inability to calm her down?"

Sean was silent for a minute, "What hottie nurse?"

"Sean, I have not only your older brothers' phone numbers sitting in front of me but your dad's number as well. You can't even imagine the pain I can put you through if you lie to me again."

Sean gulped, "Okay, man, okay, I was maybe a little distracted but it all worked out. I got her back to the hotel okay."

"What about the picture?"

"What picture?"

"Sean…"

"There is no picture anymore, Mr. T deleted it."

"Mr. T?"

"If he wasn't, he sure did a good impression."

"You took a picture of your sister. An unflattering picture taken when she couldn't defend herself!"

"Um…sorry?"

"Not as sorry as you're going to be. If you ever pull a stunt like this again I will leave the middle of a battle to track your lying ass down and beat you into oblivion. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir. Perfectly."

"Good. I'll expect you to call your sister in the morning to apologize."

"Absolutely! Just before lunch, I promise!"

"Fine."

"Um…can I go now? I swear I'll never do it again!"

"You'd better not." Duke disconnected and then punched in Frank's number.

"Frank? It's Conrad. Have you spoken to Sean yet?"

"Not since he told me Shana was driving over to see him. Why, did something happen?"

"Let me fill you in."

By the time Duke was done Frank had assured him that he and Brian, Shana's other brother, would have a little talk with Sean. Duke figured Sean would be more contrite after Frank and Brian were through with him.

Shana woke up the next morning feeling a lot like she had the previous morning. Irritable, hungry, confused, and out of sorts. Waking up to Duke's smiling face made everything a bit better.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty. How's the arm?"

"Hurts like hell…remind me why?"

"Broken elbow. Doc wants to take another look at you, he'll come here if you're not up to making a trip to the infirmary."

"Is my going back to sleep and waking up to find this all a bad dream an option?"

Duke smiled, "Nope. But after you see Doc I'll climb in bed with you."

She smiled this time, "Deal."

Doc took a look at the elbow and gave her a new prescription. Lady Jaye helped her shower, change into fresh pajamas, and then left her in Duke's care. He fed her soup and laid down with her while she took another pain pill induced nap. They were still asleep when Sean called. Duke passed the phone to Shana who answered sleepily.

"Hey, Sean."

"Hey, sis. How's the arm?"

"Elbow. Hurts like hell. Doc gave me a different set of pain pills so that helps."

"Good, look I'm really sorry about the whole thing."

"Yeah, you've said that already. You can make it up to me when I come home the next time."

"Absolutely. I'll be your slave for life. Forgiven?"

"Yeah, sure. I guess it wasn't really your fault anyways."

"Ha, tell that to your boyfriend. Or better yet, tell that to Frank and Brian."

"Why?"

"Uh, no reason."

"Hey are you all right? Your voice sounds a little funny."

Sean shook his head ruefully, 'Yeah, getting the shit beat out of you will do that to a guy,' he thought silently. Out loud he said, "Just a cold. No worries. Feel better."

"You too."

She handed the phone back to Duke, "Did you say something to him yesterday?"

"Oh, just asking what had happened, that's all."

"Okay then. I'm going back to sleep."

"Sounds like the best plan I've heard of all day."


End file.
